How should i speak with my child about the schedule?

Privileges first

Provide child-clear information about privileges. Here are some sample scripts you can use with your child

• “Privileges are important. I want you to have privileges every day. Here are the privileges that I can think of. They include play time alone, play time with me, screen time, and play dates or social events with your friends. Let’s make sure that you have some privileges to look forward to every day.

• I have some ideas about when you can have your privileges. Let me explain the times to you. Let me show you on the clock when your privileges will occur on school days. Let me show you on the clock when your privileges will occur on weekends

• You can always have some play time alone, every day. Let’s find a time when you can have play time

• You can always have some play time or special time with me. Let’s find a time in the schedule for us to have play time/ special time together

• Let’s schedule your screen time. You can have some screen time every day, but only when it’s the right time. I am going to make you practice waiting until it’s the right time for screen time. I am also going to make you practice shutting off the screen when it’s time to shut it off.

• You can help me choose the times you will use for screen time. Sometimes, I’m going to make you do a routine before you can get your screen time. If we schedule your screen time, it will be easier to get through the routines that come first.

• There won’t be any screen time in the mornings. We’ll save your screen time for later in the day

• In the afternoon, you will have to set up the schedule so that you do homework first, and screen time after that.

• In the evenings, you will have to put your toys away before you get to eat dessert.

• You might get frustrated when I tell you that the privilege has to come to an end. But remember, you get privileges every day. Even though privileges always come to an end, there will be other privileges later in the day. You’ll also have more privileges the next day.

• You might get frustrated if I tell you that you can’t have a privilege because you did not finish your routine. Don’t worry. You’ll get better and better at completing routines. That means you’ll get your privileges more and more often.

• You might get frustrated if I tell you that you can’t have a privilege because you did not finish your routine on time. But remember, you can always get more privileges later in the day or the next day. It’s really important for me to teach you about getting routines done before you get privileges. If i did not do this, i would not be doing my job!

• Let’s do a quiz. I’m going to make sure you remember the schedule. It will be better if you remember the schedule, so that I don’t have to give you so many reminders. Let’s go through the schedule:

  • What time did we decide that you should have play time/ social time? How long is play time? When does the schedule say that the play time/ screen time is over?

  • What time did we schedule your screen time? How long is your afternoon screen time? How long is your evening screen time?

  • When are desserts/ sweets allowed? What do you need to get done before you get a dessert or sweet?

  • Can you remind me when you are doing to have your privileges today? I want to do a routine with you, but we need to schedule a time so that you don’t lose your privileges.

  • Can you show me on the clock when your privilege starts? Stops?

Routines

Provide child-clear information about routines. Make sure that your child knows what a ‘routine’ is. Here are some sample scripts you can use with your child:

• There are some routines that you have to do every day. You have to get dressed; brush your teeth in the morning and evening; wash your body once a day/ every other day; learn how to wash your hands after you’ve gone to the toilet; learn how to clean yourself after using the toilet. You have to put your toys away each afternoon or each evening.

• I need to make sure you know how to complete the routine properly.

  • When I tell you to get dressed, what I mean is that you have your underpants and undershirt on; your pants and your shirt; that they are tucked in neatly; and that you have put on your socks and your shoes. In the winter, I’ll tell you to ‘get dressed for going outside.’ That means that you are dressed but also have your coat on.

  • When I tell you to tidy up your toys, it means that all of the toys that are on the floor have to go inside your toy box. The big toys go in the big toy box. The small toys go in the small toy box. let me show you which toys are the big toys and which toys are the small toys

  • When I tell you to tidy up your bedroom, it means that the toys are put away; that you have made your bed; and that your papers on your desk are in a neat pile. I’m going to take a photo of your bedroom when it’s all cleaned up. You can use the photo to make sure that you’ve done each step.

  • When I tell you put to put away your recreational equipment, what I mean is that your soccer equipment is wiped down, clean, and inside your sports bag. The sports bag belongs on the hook in the closet.

• I’m going to help you do the routine for now. That way, you’ll know how to do it and you’ll know when it’s all done

  • I’m not going to help you do the routine, but I’ll stand nearby and watch. I’ll help you if you need help

  • I’m not going to help you do the routine, but I’ll let you know if there’s anything you missed

  • I’m not going to watch you do the routine, but I’ll come back in a minute and make sure it went well

  • I’m not going to watch you do the routine. Before breakfast, I’ll check in with you and we’ll both make sure everything got done right

  • Once you and I both see that you can do the job, I’ll check in with you less often.

• Let’s make a visual schedule together. It will help you to remember when your privileges occur and when you have to do your routines. Let’s cut out magazine pictures and paste them onto a board. Let’s find some pictures online, and print them. You can use the pictures to remind you of your privileges. You can use the pictures in case you forget to do a routine.

  • Let’s take some photos of your room, of your closet, of your recreational equipment. It will help us to remember each step of the routine. it will help to get the routine done properly each time

• Tell me why you are frustrated about the schedule. Most kids find the schedule frustrating, because they don’t want privileges to come to an end! But if you practice it every day, it will seem normal and it won’t bother you so much.

• Tell me why you are frustrated about the routines. I’ll try to keep your routines short. The more you practice the easier it will get.

• When I check in with you, I’m going to quiz you. I’m going to say: “I think you forgot something. Do you know what it is? Or, I might say: “I noticed something that you missed. Can you see it?'“ Let me know if you want me to do the check-ins another way