Teach your child the word “sharing.”

Remind your child how you worked together to set up the schedule at home.

Remind your child how you share toys when you are playing together.

Show them what it looks like to share play ideas and to share toys.

Have a planning meeting. Share ideas about what you’d like to play. Then, choose what you’ll do.

Set up a mini-schedule. The mini-schedule can help you and your child decide who goes first or second. It can also help you decide for how long. 10 minutes? 15?

Next, help your child understand turn-taking.

Use the mini-schedule to teach taking turns.

Remind your child about your schedule at home. The schedule helps with sharing and turn-taking

The schedule taught your child how to wait for a privilege. Your child is now ready to learn to wait for their turn.

The schedule taught your child ‘first work, then play.” Your child is now ready to practice “first your turn, then my turn.”

Social conventions - What we expect from others. Make sure that your child knows what others expect. Make sure they can show others that they know. Look at some of the examples here:

Conversational conventions.

Introduce yourself. “My name is…”

Ask peers “What’s your name?”

Ask peers if you can join them. “Do you want to play together?”

Ask peers what they’d like to play. “What do you want to play?”

Show your friends that you know how to take turns. Ask: “Who will go first? Who will go second?”

Show your friend that you can use kind words. Please — “Please can I have a turn?” and thank you —“Thanks for letting me take a turn”

You can say thank you for lots of reasons:

“Thanks for playing with me” or “Thanks for sharing with me” and “Let’s play again some time”

Play themes. Find out what play themes children currently find interesting, It could be Pokemon, or Superheroes, or another theme. Does your child know how to play these themes?

Rules of the game.

Can your child follow rules in a game? Your child may need some teaching or instruction about the rules of board games, card games, or sports activities.

Mini-schedules and instructions are a great social skills training tool.

Some children will perform much better if the schedule includes instructions, and shows them:

—What the play theme

—What the rules are

—When turn-taking and sharing have to occur

— How long they can play what they want to play and when they have to take turns and switch to a new game

Teach your child to interact with one familiar peer for short periods. Focus on conventional social skills like sharing, turn-taking, and following rules. Practice at home first. Your child can build these skills by having a positive connection with you. If they have a positive connection with you, it will be easier for them to use the same skills with peers.

Playing with peers is different from playing with adults. Peers might not have the same patience and could get upset when you child forgets to share, take turns, or follow rules. you can let your child’s peers know! Tell them that your child sometimes forgets to use her/his skills. Give them a conversation starter. For example, they could tell your child: Don’t forget to share and take turns! Remember the rules!”

Your child needs to learn how to share, take turns, and follow the rules in different settings and with different peers. Your child needs to know this; “Sharing, taking turns, and following the rules is for everyone and for everywhere!”

Manage breakdowns. Teach your child how to manage breakdowns. Your child can use a script when teaching others. You can teach yoru child to say: “Remember to share and take turns! Remember to follow the rules!

Teach your child to build and deepen friendships.

Teach your child how to use emotion terms to build friendships. You can teach your child to share their feelings. They can say things like: “I like playing with you”. Or, you can teach them to say: “I like it when you share, take turns, and follow the rules” and “I like it when you let me decide what we’re going to play.” Over time, your child can learn to share preferences. “I like playing pirate ships. I like playing video games. What games do you like to play?

Help your child build a deeper connection. Make sure your child knows how to manage their emotions. your child will be a better friend if they can share their feelings. They could learn how to say: “I sometimes get frustrated, but I still want to be your friend. Maybe next time, I won’t be so frustrated for so long.”

Screen time can interfere with building social relationships. Screens grab our attention. they make us stop looking at others.

Limit screen time that’s not social (e.g. Face time is OK, but playing video games does not always help your child learn to socialize).

Screen time is hard to control. Look at the Schedules chapter for suggestions. Make room for play activities that do not include a screen. It’s the best way to learn how to be a good friend.

Using screen time to build friendships. it’s best to turn screens off when you are helping your child learn to be a good friend. But, you can use some screen time to get things started. Show interest in your child’s screen activities and discuss what you see. For example, ask about their favorite game or video and discuss the social skills of characters. Use screen time to teach turn-taking and sharing, or for face-to-face socializing. Once your child is good at socializing with the screen on, try turning it off.