How do I speak with my child about social skills?

Words for successful social interactions

• I’m going to teach you about sharing. Sharing means

  • Letting other people use your toys.

  • Letting other people talk about what they want to talk about.

  • letting other people choose the game they want to play

• I’m going to teach you about taking turns. Taking turns means

  • Letting your friend play first

  • Taking your turn later

  • Not always playing first

• I noticed that you are doing really good sharing with your friends. First, you shared your toys. Then, you took turns at the game. That’s great! You are going to have much more fun with your friends if you keep sharing and taking turns.

• I noticed that you seemed nervous, but you kept it inside and kept playing with your friends. After a while, you were really enjoying yourself. Did you notice that you took care of your nervous feelings? Once you did that, you really started to enjoy yourself.

• I noticed that you looked confused, but you kept playing and after a while you were less confused. That’s great! You took your time to figure out the game, and in the end, you figured it out!

• I’m goin to teach you some words you can use with your friends. Here they are:

  • I have a game that I want to play. Let me tell you how it works.

  • This is how you take turns in this game….. Here are the rules….

  • If we play make-belief, what I want to do is….What do you want to do?

• I noticed that you used words to tell your friend how you want to play. I think it helped you to use the right words. You got to play with a new friend!

Words for social breakdowns

• Sometimes, it’s hard to play with friends. They might not want to do what you want to do. Or, they might want to take their turn first. Remember to talk with your friend. Make sure you both can talk about:

  • Sharing

  • Taking turns

  • Following the rules of the game

• If you can’t explain it to your friend, you can ask me for help

• I’m going to teach you some words you can use if your confused. You could say: “Can you explain that over again?” If you still are not sure what to do, you can ask me for help

• I’m going to teach you some words you can use if you get too mad or too scared. You could say: I’m getting really mad, I need a time-out. Or, you could say: “I’m too frustrated right now, I’ll come back later.” If you still feel a lot of mad feelings you can ask me for help. I want to make sure that you can play as much as possible!

• I’m going to teach you what to do when you get mad at your friends. You might get mad if your friends do not share, or if they don’t take turns, or when they don’t explain what they want to do. Can you figure out why you’re mad?

• I’m going to teach you what to do when you get mad at your friends. Your friends might say unkind words. that’s not OK. you might need to tell them: “It’s not OK to use mean words.” You can take some time away if your friends are mad and say unkind words.

• You might not want to play with your friends if they say unkind words. But, you could try again tomorrow. Make sure they know why you were mad at them. Then, see if they can be good friends again afterwards.

• I’m going to tell your friends to remind you about sharing, taking turns, and explaining things. I want you to play for as long as possible! If you forget to take turns, or share, or use kind words, your friends need to let you know.

• I’m going to tell your friends to explain things to you one extra time. That way, you’ll know what you’re supposed to do.